Goal setting and detours


Here’s the thing about goal setting: I’ve never really been into it.

Part of it may be fear of disappointment, or lack of self confidence. Maybe even lack of drive. But it’s just never been a particularly motivating force for me.

My approach is shaped more by determination (or, on a bad day, stubbornness). I decide something, and I stick to it.

Well, now I have this coach. She’s fantastic. And she’s really in to goal setting.

I shied away from it at first, thinking it wasn’t for me, but then I gave in and decided to go with it, since I have so much respect for her, and hey, it can’t hurt, right?

We set a weekly goal and have a weekly check in. Week one goal: I want more creativity in my life, so I’m going to set up a drop cloth canvas in the dining room for all of us to paint whenever we want, whatever we want, and create some art that reflects what our lives are like. Awesome idea. Hasn’t happened yet. There were multiple parenting crises during that week (when are there not??).

Week two goal: infuse my days with physical activity. Crushed it. Joined a gym, with a friend, and have a gym date 3x per week. Made hiking dates 1x per week with various friends. Gym is going strong, three weeks in, hikes have been rescheduled for illness and #ENOUGH rally.

Week three goal: Write. Blogs. Yoga book. Write. Totally did not happen.

And here’s where the awareness finally started to kick in. Awareness of the truth. My truth. Getting honest. With Myself.

My week was completely taken over by volunteer work. Girl Scouts. Truth: I allowed my week to be nearly completely taken over by Girl Scouts.


Resentment, frustration, impatience… these have all been there under similar circumstances. But not this time, surprisingly.

This time, I felt differently because I had been around some of the most inspiring Girl Scouts the week before. Not only had my eyes and heart been opened by a beautiful weekend away with my daughter at girl scout camp, but one of the girl leaders of that event turned out to be the organizer of the high school/middle school #walkout protesting gun violence.

Everywhere I turned, there was an inspiring girl. So I made a choice: my writing that has been on hold for months, can wait one more week. Community building for me and my daughter is not only important, it fills me with hope, thanks to the beautiful people around me that I choose to notice and to get to know a bit.

So here I am, week four of setting goals. It all seems a bit rush-rush to me to set goals weekly, but I’ve learned that there are many reasons why goals don’t get met, and not all of them make me want to create excuses.

The take away: set one goal, weekly, and in the re-cap/assessment a week later, be honest. Learn from what you did, what you didn’t do. Reset, set another goal, and start again. After a few weeks, notice if it’s not just a little easier to be honest.

And the other take away: opportunities to flex a bit of girl power and nurture it will always be a good reason for me to put anything else aside for a bit.